"A Family Love Story" - RIP Bev Hassell

"When you write this story, please say how our mom would always do things to have us all together. She would do a scavenger hunt or she would have us all come over and set up an obstacle course in the backyard for kids and adults. She was always doing fun things for us," said Kristy Corbett. Daughters Kristy, Sherry, Erin and husband Chuck, will cherish their family togetherness as they reflect on a tough year for everyone. Beverly Whittum Hassell was a young 63 years old when she felt a lump while showering one July day in 2013. She made an appointment with her regular physician, Dr. Tawfik F. Hawwa, who had an office in walking distance from their Riverside home. "Bev really liked Dr. Hawwa," said Beverly Hassell's husband of 43 years - Charles "Chuck" Hassell. "Bev called him a gentle gentleman and trusted him," he recalled. Dr. Hawwa's examination would start the beginning of a tough but loving year for the extended Hassell family. Bev and Chuck have three daughters and seven grandchildren. There are several Hassell and Whittum siblings, nieces and nephews and scores of very close friends. Bev was a retired secretary for the East Providence School Department and a former Riverside Little League Coach and a Brownie Leader. A graduate of East Providence High School she was a big supporter of everything Townie. "She especially loved EP football, ever since high school. I think she watched more high school, college and pro football games than I did," laughed Chuck. Chuck, too, is a sports enthusiast. Among other things, he had been the mainstay of announcing school and youth sports on the volunteer Townie Sports Network for cable television.

A day after Bev's initial exam, her doctor called and the news was not good. "I want to see both you and Chuck and we'll talk," said Dr. Hawwa. "We both knew the news wouldn't be good at that point," said Chuck. The doctor told Bev that she indeed had a rare type of breast cancer that could become aggressive. Although many successes are present today with breast cancer treatment, Bev Hassell would not be so lucky. A second opinion at Dana Farber in Boston would confirm the prognosis. About 1 to 2 per cent of women have this very aggressive cancer. "Both Dana Farber and our local doctors had the same opinions on treatment and we opted to stay here for medical services," said Chuck. "Bev's doctors, nurses, etc., were so good and we were comfortable with them," he added.

Immediately after meeting with Dr. Hawwa, he assembled a "wonderful team of doctors, nurses and other staff." There was strong chemotherapy starting in September which made Bev very ill with the requisite bad side effects. "Loss of hair, no taste, feeling weak and no appetite were all issues Bev dealt with," sighed Chuck. Shortly before the holidays the chemo was done. It didn't work. Soon after chemo, Bev would undergo radiation. "Twice a day for close to 30 days, we would drive to the radiation sessions on North Main street. It was very grueling for my wife and so hard to see her go through this," said Chuck. It was a tough ordeal for all of the Hassells who tried to maintain some everyday normalcy for Bev's sake and for all the kids. Chuck Hassell wanted to be home more for his wife. At the time Hassell was a third grade teacher at Oldham School in Riverside. "Around December 1st, I took some family illness time to help Bev at home and take her to the many doctor's visits she had," he said. But as Bev's cancer worsened Chuck found that he needed to become his wife's main caretaker. He became stressed with it all but tried hard not to show it to Bev. "I combined family illness and sick bank days to try and make it all work. The Superintendent of Schools (Kimberly Mercer) was very supportive and helped me out a lot," recalled Hassell. But in the end, Chuck Hassell made a decision to retire. He had enough time for the bare minimum and it would be a financial hit, "but I wanted to spend her last days together as much as possible."

Chuck made the most of his time at home as he cared for Bev around the clock. "I am so lucky that our daughters, grandchildren and family helped out so much. We all picked up each other when we needed to," he said. It was a long year but the Hassells made the most of it. "A lot of it was due to Bev's positive attitude, her sense of humor and her desire to not have the girls and grandchildren see her suffer," said Chuck with a slight smile. There were many doctor's visits and major surgery. "The tumor became so large that Dr. Jennifer Gass (Bev's surgeon) almost cancelled the mastectomy minutes before the operation. The tumor hadn't shrunk enough," said Chuck. But the radical surgery took place as planned in April, 2014.

The celebration of Bev's life would continue through all the despair. Before Bev's mastectomy surgery the family held a "boob's-voyage" party, complete with breast shaped cupcakes and lots of laughter and jokes. "Bev made all of us feel much better, even though it was her who was suffering," Chuck added. Daughter Sherry Santos, would take to social media at times to vent and to update friends on her Mom's condition. "An individual doesn't get cancer, a family does," was one of Sherry's posts. "When Mom was losing her hair, she had my Dad cut the rest of it off and she wanted a wig. Mom didn't want the grandkids to be scared with her hair loss," said Sherry. The family went shopping and bought a wig, but not before Bev would try on all types, modeling and laughing for photo ops. "We picked out a wig and also the mannequin head that came with it. We named the head and wig, Beatrice and had lots of fun placing Beatrice in the car or at family functions, etc.," said Santos. "Just crazy things, anything to keep us all light and laughing when possible," added Chuck. "You had to be there."

While at home caring for his wife, Chuck Hassell also thought often of his students at Oldham School. One of the parents of Chuck's students wrote about her son's teacher: "It takes a very special person to be a teacher. I would like to take this time to give credit and say thank you to Andrew's 3rd grade teacher, Mr. Hassell. This teacher had to leave his classroom for his family this year. Throughout the year, he had come into the classroom to spend time with those children and even have lunch with them, he was there for their Christmas party. During reading week, he came in and read a book or two to his class. Mr. Hassell was also there for the kids field day! On the last day of school he was there at the school again for the children, playing kickball with them!! I would really like to send my love and prayers to him and his family at this time, he is truly an amazing man!! XOXO I think about this family every day. Please pray for them. thank you!," said the very moving letter from the Jaimie Desorcy Tippett family.

After that April surgery everyone including the medical staff was upbeat at first. However, things quickly deteriorated. "Bev had blood loss, trouble breathing, other pain and the cancer now spread to her lungs. There was a bad fall at home." The oncologist told Bev and Chuck to enjoy the Memorial Day weekend and they would all meet and discuss their next step. In early June Bev and Chuck met with Dr. Sakr at Women's and Infant's hospital. "I'm sorry, but nothing much can be done at this point. We will do our best...," was the dark news. As Bev continued to speak with nurses and other staff, Chuck spoke with the oncologist in the hallway away from his wife. "I know you don't like to put a timeframe on this but can you tell me how much time she has left?" asked Chuck. "She has two to four weeks left to live," was the answer. Chuck was stunned for a bit. "I was thinking a few years." They had run out of time. It was decided that Chuck would be the one to tell Bev the news.

It was a very tough time for the big Hassell family. Chuck needed a day or two before he could find the right words to say. "Telling your wife that she has two to four weeks left to live," his voice trailed off a bit. "How do you do that," he asked. "We were in the living room with the television on. She could see my reflection on the TV screen and knew I was upset. 'Okay, what's wrong, don't hide it I see it in your face' she asked me. I told her what the doctor said and she thought I was joking," relayed Chuck in a quiet voice now. Bev Hassell was stunned at first as she, too, thought she had more time. "I haven't finished my bucket list," she told those in the room. Bev and Chuck got through the night, holding each other, neither sleeping.

With both Hassells being big sports fans and Chuck knowing how much Bev loved football, he had an idea. "She had often talked about visiting the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio someday. Well, I told Bev, we're going to Ohio, get ready!" And within three days Bev and Chuck took a road trip by car and Bev Hassell got to the Hall of Fame. "She had a ball! She needed a wheelchair but that didn't stop her from enjoying the trip," Chuck smiled. "She was like a kid in a candy store."

But Chuck wanted to do more for Bev. "I came up with the idea to renew our wedding vows in a yard party at home. But I didn't know if she could handle it health wise," he worried. Bev was now on oxygen regularly, needed a wheelchair and was often in pain or too weak to do anything. "We started to plan it out but I got nervous. I thought I might fall apart and make things worse for all of us." The event was a huge success, as it turned out. Chuck and his daughters, Sherry, Erin and Kristy, their husbands, the grandchildren, relatives and friends pulled it off on a warm, sunny June 30th, 2014. Bev Hassell was feeling good enough to spend a big part of the day with her guests. A Reverend officiated and vows were renewed to more than a few tears in the crowd. What was planned as a small family-only yard ceremony, turned into a large celebration and salute to Beverly Hassell. Neighbors and friends came by, some just to wave or hang around for some cake and food with Bev and Chuck. Bev's best friend from grammar school days made the trip from Florida. "What an unbelievable evening! Everything my Dad wanted for renewing his vows with my Mom was just perfect! Even though my Mom thought it was going to be just this small thing --she was surprised and grateful for the amount of people who came to celebrate her life with my Dad! I'm glad that she even felt well enough to stay outside for a little while and get to take pictures with her amazing family and friends! It was a night she will never forget," said an overjoyed daughter Sherry Santos. "It's so hard to believe I'm dying because I look and feel great!" Bev Hassell would poignantly tell her family. The Hassell clan was smiling again due to Bev's sense of humor in tough times. Relatives from New Hampshire, Florida and elsewhere all came to witness the renewal of wedding vows and most likely to see Bev one more time. Chuck's idea had worked. "Many friends also stopped by in the weeks before we lost Bev," said Chuck. "They brought her favorite meals or just wanted to say hello," he smiled. This reporter called Bev and wanted to come by with some lunch and chat. "Great," she said. "I never turn down a meal, that's one good thing about cancer - you can eat a lot and not gain weight," she laughed into the phone. But sad to say, time ran out before that lunch would happen.

"I want to thank the hospice workers. They helped Bev look her best all the time and were critical to her care in the end," said Chuck. "I Just want to say a big thank you to Lisa Landingham and Janet Ventura of Beacon Hospice! You are truly both Angels and our family appreciates all you did for us and especially my mom," said Erin Hassell. "I was so moved by our friends and family who thought of us during the past year. Bev loved seeing everyone who visited," added Chuck.

The end came fast for Beverly Hassell. As she now began to suffer in pain, her family reluctantly began to let go - for her sake. "It was a long year, but Bev was so brave and we celebrated our family together. In the end , as I sat up many nights watching Bev try to sleep, I was ready to let her go. The pain and suffering became too much for her." These are the sad but loving words of a husband who stayed by the side of his wife around the clock as she fought a tough battle against a cruel cancer. Bev Hassell lost that battle but not before giving cancer one heck of a fight. Through it all she remained positive and strong. She laughed a lot and talked about how she would hope to survive. She would say that she was grateful for her loving family. Her family rallied around her and there were many parties and family get-togethers during her last year of life.

Bev Hassell died at home on July 7th in the afternoon. Her family was there with her as they were for the entire year after her fatal diagnosis. The huge annual July 4th party that the Hassells hosted was cancelled as Bev was now unable to do much. A statement from her daughters Sherry, Kristy and Erin, said "...while so sad we are yet relieved at the same time. Mom's suffering is over but we miss her so much already...it has been a hard 2 weeks, but we all did everything we possibly could to keep her comfortable and she was never alone. RIP Mom." As we visited with Chuck Hassell in his living room on this early September morning, it was evident that a melancholy quiet was present as life continues on for the Hassells. Children and grandchildren came and left, the phone rang a lot and Chuck Hassell relived a yearlong rollercoaster ride of emotions. "I really thought - we both thought - that she would make it longer," said a sad but relieved Chuck. "She is at peace now." And so this should not be taken as just another sad story of someone dying. Rather, the intent is to sprinkle some smiles over the tears and remember the strength and love shown by Beverly Hassell. A love some families may never know. RIP Beverly Whittum Hassell: A Townie and a true profile in courage.