Alarms at Night, Among Other Things

One of my favorite stories by the late humorist (and Ohio native) James Thurber is called “More Alarms at Night.” I thought of this when we were rudely awakened around 4 a.m. on March 17 by a desperate and loud scratching in the wall, right behind the bed. What could it be? While it was St. Patrick’s Day, I didn’t really think it was a banshee, however much noise it made.

The ripping, scratching, and tearing sounds continued for a little while and then suddenly stopped. It took quite a while for me to get back to sleep. In the morning light, I looked out onto the roof below the bedroom window, on the one-story addition we had put on the house some years ago. There were several torn cedar shingles lying around on this part of the roof. They had been ripped right off the side of the wall. Sigh, one more repair job after the winter onslaught of destruction.

What else but a raccoon could or would climb up onto a roof (there are tree branches overhead unfortunately) in the middle of the night and do this much damage? (I have no real proof of this and was just consulting Wikipedia among other sources.) What was it after? Was it trying to burrow into the attic but gave up when it ran into a wall instead? How did it get back down? Do we have to install a critter-cam on the outside of the house to monitor unruly wildlife? But enough about winter woes!

To escape the winter blues, like many viewers, I’ve been binge-watching TV to a certain extent. But I am as hard to please as Goldilocks. I don’t like shows or movies that are too sentimental (Hallmark Channel etc.) or shows that are too edgy, violent, or provocative (far too many to list here). I like comedies that are clever and witty, not crude and stupid. That doesn’t leave a lot left over on either regular TV or Netflix. I do enjoy my favorite old black and white classic movies and I rely heavily on PBS, as long as it’s not another dreadful pledge month (again).

May I digress about Netflix? Netflix may have a lot of movies on offer but a lot of them are duds. Why are they so bad at figuring out customers’ tastes? Amazon seems to have this nailed down pretty well. My favorite Netflix suggestion for me was “Old Yeller,” one of the most traumatic movies of my childhood. No, I don’t want to see it again. I hate movies where a beloved animal dies or is killed. Nor do I think they make good children’s movies. Surely I can’t be alone in this. But this is a topic for another time.

Then I discovered the enjoyment of watching people looking for a new house on HGTV. I’m always fascinated by real estate, even though I’ve lived in the same house for 37 years. I especially like HGTV shows about buying a house in the Caribbean. I have no interest in buying Caribbean property myself, but I just love looking at all the gorgeous green scenery and blue water on the programs. The voice-over at the beginning brightly informs viewers that you don’t have to be wealthy to live in the Caribbean. I thought with irony of all the poor souls in Haiti and said, “I guess not.”

But these are shows about well-off Americans pursuing their dreams, not about poverty and politics. Problems the new home-buyers might encounter are not mentioned, especially the high risk of hurricane damage to ocean-front property there. I have never had a desire to own a shorefront home anywhere. It’s always seemed like asking for trouble.

As reality shows go, these are pretty tame. The only conflict is the would-be owners trying to decide which of three houses to buy. Prices vary greatly, depending upon which island you’re interested in. They are all looking for the same thing – an oceanfront view, preferably with beach access. (When we took a little boat trip in Jupiter, Florida this winter, our guide pointed out the million dollar difference between condos on the beach and similar ones a five-minute drive away. I’d take the short drive and pay the parking fee.)

But now New Englanders can finally come out of hibernation and enjoy the outdoors again after too much time under “house arrest” this winter. How wonderful to be able to drive and walk wherever you want to go. Last month I mentioned the garden at Blithewold in Bristol. Two more botanical gardens within an hour’s drive worth a visit are Garden in the Woods in Framingham and Tower Hill Botanic Garden in Boylston. Welcome, Spring!