March 29, 2024

Racism

Posted

Racism, yes, can be very loud and in your face but it can be so subtle and secretive that you may never see it. It doesn’t always manifest in the scream of racial profanity, in the blatant degrading of another human because of their skin color, or in the jokes at the expense of another’s race, sometimes it will sneak about working it’s way into all of our lives. It uses fear and ignorance to controller our hearts and minds. I want to use my voice to bring light and to inform you, not to tear you down or rebuke you, but to help you see and hear tangible ways racism has affected someone you might personally know!

The first time I can recall being called a Nigger was in 5th or 6th grade, believe me it was just the first in a series. Over time in school I could ascertain, (whether rightly or wrongly) and admittedly with my own set prejudices, what students or furthermore what teachers/coaches might have racial biases towards me I learned who I could trust and who I could not!

In 8th grade I remember the day riding my bike on Simmons street in Rehoboth just a minute from home with my best friend who is also black. As we rode 2 high school kids in a pick-up truck passed us, turned around only to pass us and turn around again as they pass us this 3rd time they slowed and once they were in front they spun their tires shooting the newly paved loose stones at our faces, they proceeded to pass us 2 more time repeating the processes. I remember the fear we both felt, as we pedaled feverishly to my house. We quickly hid our bikes before they passed again so that they wouldn’t know where we were. For a period, I remained terrified to ride my bike on my own street, in a town I called home for nearly my entire life.

In the classroom we learned about slavery and the civil rights movement that “won” freedom for all and that learned that racism was a thing of the past or maybe only still in parts of the south. But reality was that while we learned that in the books, kid made jokes about and teased about my ancestors being slaves and that they would have owned me. While we learned of equality our bathroom stalls and desks had racial slurs, KKK, and Swastika’s drawn and carved into them.

I entered high school and as a freshmen the upperclassmen of the 98% white football team dubbed me with the nickname chocolate milk, in front of coach who instead of stopping it laughed along with it. So, I just learned to smiled and nod. I heard the laughter the side comments the whispers. I had white friend who stood against the grain and would inform me of the things said behind my back. I heard them and I just pushed them aside trying to rise above them. 16 years later I listened and watch my little brothers being call “Habib” or similar racially charged nicknames by teammates while teacher/coaches sat idly by.

I remember the day the entire school went into complete lockdown because one of the 10-15 black students wasn’t recognized. To most it was a funny, something to joke about, to me it spoke volumes to the fear a single black boy in a sea of students in the hall can cause, in what is supposed to be a safe environment for ALL.

I work as a Civil Engineer and as such I often visit empty wooded lots, new road subdivisions and home lot. Every visit I prepare myself in ways I didn’t realize were bred in my fears of racial bias. I always have a card on me, I dress as professional as possible, I carry a clipboard and plans whether they are need or not and I try to look as confident in being there in hopes that I would dissuade onlookers from seeing me as suspicious. You might think me paranoid but my reality is that in high school I worked with my friends (1 black, 2 biracial and 1 white kid) on a subdivision setting hay bales in the woods. on our way home while driving through Seekonk, in an open Jeep, we sat at a red light waiting, after a min or so a police car pulled off a side street behind us, as we turned with a green light, he flipped his lights. We immediately pulled over and were greeted at gun point with a screaming officer telling us to “get your f’ing hands up right this second!” He forcefully dragged us one by one out of the car and did a complete pat down and search of the vehicle and upon Finding nothing he made his disappointment know! We had committed no crime, but were profiled simply for riding in a white community in broad daylight!

In my 20’s I worked at a Christian camp in New Hampshire during the summer, and was befriended by the camp band, on a day off they invited me to accompany them to a music store a few towns over, on our way back we stopped at a convenience store and upon entering a man began to follow me around, something that isn’t unheard of for me, but this was different, he stood and followed so closely. As we finished in the store the man was leaving behind me, I held the door....and there we stood...he just looked at me, didn’t move, didn’t speak. After an uncomfortable pause I let the handle go and the door closed and I turned to walk away. Not until the door closed did, he finally open it and exit the store. As he continued all the way to his car he just glared in my direction, I was scared in that moment, shocked by his boldness. That day I was thankful for true friends who upon hearing me recount the events that had just transpired showed their utter distain and support all at once! But what is telling is that these men were in the store with me, they walked out right before me, they were at the door talking with me as I held it. Yet they never saw a thing! Why? Because racism is cunning and deceptive and may only show its ugly head when you’re not around!

In 2014 our family went on vacation Florida to relax and celebrating the early stages of possible remission of Logan’s cancer. While at the airport, after making it through all security checkpoints, I was approached by 2 TSA agents at the terminal with my family and fellow passengers. They tapped me on the shoulder, looked at my carry-on suitcase by my feet and asked is this your bag, when I replied yes they asked me to step to the side with them, and proceeded to check contents of my bag in front of all of my fellow passengers, questioned my purpose for flying, and asked who I was with. It was one of the most stressful events I have ever experienced. This entire ordeal took place in view of not only all at our terminal but the other 2-3 gates passengers. The stares I received were off putting, and the tension and unease as I walked down the aisle hurt. I just wanted to shout out for them all to know that my beard and my complexion do not define me, I wanted to shout out that my appearance was in support of my son who is battling juvenile leukemia! You see I needed an alibi for my beard, I wasn’t just any man choosing to grow a beard I was a man with brown skin growing a beard.

I’ve lived in Dighton and/or Rehoboth for 30 years, I’ve have had my 1 of my 8 sibling in the school system between 1987-2018 and have the unique experience of knowing that there is and has been racism rampant in these towns for years! I know my older brothers personally saw it worse than I, I know one was cornered, verbally and physically attacked, and called a nigger by people who coincidentally are currently raising children alongside my own now in this town. I know their children, their spouses. I treat them with love and respect, my hope and prayer is that they have changed and are sorry for their past! But that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and affect my brother and my family’s life experiences.

Racism is subtle, it hides, and hides in plain sight, there are time you can’t prove it, can’t give evidence of it, but what happens over the span of 30 years is you watch the patterns and learn to understand the nuances of the language people use to hide it. You feel the unease in your conversations and interactions, but you stay quiet for you are an outsider to the majority and you feel you have no voice, you feel you need others who aren’t the oppressed to speak for you so as not to be labeled for “pulling the race-card again”. I long for a better future for my children in this community, where my wife isn’t questioned in the park if her children are all hers because they vary in darkness! I yearn for a community that is so moved to compassions, and pushes aside defensiveness, that it would listen, just listen and feel empathy for their neighbors! Racism exists here in Dighton just as it does everywhere in this county, denying it doesn’t make it go away it allows it to grow and stay! If you want it gone, you need to take action against it. Stand out against it when and if you ever see it!

At home talk with your children about it, ask questions, (I will work to be an open resource) because if you don’t and just ignore it you are risking them to think either you don’t care or you risk them being molded by those who harbor hatred. When they are confronted by it in school (and they will be),or in the world, they might out of fear do what is safest and easiest if they can’t rely on the example set forth in your homes.

Now I would be doing a great disservice to my friend, classmates, teachers, coaches and community members if I didn’t take a moment to say thank you, thank you, thank you! I know so many loved, befriend, and defended against racism & and prejudice! I am truly proud of you all! But our work is not finished, I don’t want to accept a community who settles for “better than before” I want a society how strives for “we can be even better still”

Chris Andrade

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